Now I know what you guys are thinking. Is this post going to be Brian talking about how he is a perfectionist? Well, my answer will be maybe. I personally agree with the great motivational speaker Mr. Les Brown. He talks about the phrase, practice makes perfect. He completely disagrees with that phrase and so do I. He says that it should be stricken from the English language, and so do I.
Seeing as the NFL starts tomorrow night, (I am so pumped) I am reminded what Jerry Rice said about the word perfect, or being perfect. Now here is a guy who was far and away the greatest wide receiver in NFL history, He broke every record there was. He was as close to perfection on the field, than almost anyone else in the entire history of the league. I remember reading somewhere in maybe Sports Illustrated or seeing a video about him and he was saying that in all those games, he never had the perfect game. Yes, he may have had 5 touchdowns in one game and shattered the record for receiving yards in a game, but maybe he missed a block or didn’t run all of his routs correctly. Talk about a humble guy who strives for perfection and gives it 150% every time he took the field.
I must add one more person to this list. I know I have mentioned him before, but he fits into this discussion also. Neil Peart is one of if not the greatest drummers ever. His sticking, or chops are unequaled. He is so precise in his drumming that is boggles the mind. Yet he isn’t perfect either. Maybe I just think they are so good, that they are way closer to perfect than me. That is probably true, but that is because they work on their craft constantly. When it comes to perfection, one thing is for certain. Being perfect is impossible. Only God is perfect. So in that regard, this will not be about me being a perfectionist.
I think the biggest thing for me isn’t that I am a perfectionist, it is that my biggest fear is actually failing. Is that the same as being a perfectionist? I don’t know. Whenever I was in school and their was a project to do, I did the best I could. When the teacher graded the papers, or projects, they would always hold a few aside to talk about how that person went above and beyond and their work was exceptional. I was never in that group. Most of the time, I was in the just getting by group, but not because I didn’t try. Schools don’t care about the work put in, they care about the grade. I desperately wanted to be a winner. No one likes being a loser. No one wants to hang out with losers. I always felt the crushing pain and blow of being on the losing end of so many things.Growing up in my father’s house was no easy task. He was a drunk and a control freak, so I felt I had to do everything just so, just right, to be perfect if you will, but it never happened. Again, the angry head of failing reared its gruesome head at me. Also, how can I now look at doing anything in a perfect manner. I have A.C.C. Everything is mixed up upstairs, or takes longer to get to where you want the message to go. Of course, I didn’t know this at the time.
It even happens now. I will cook something and it is really good, but maybe I could have made it better. I second guess myself constantly. This is especially true with being a father. I want to be the best father I can be with the kids. I want to be better than my dad was in every way. I think I am a better person than he was or is, but He has so many things that are his, and also that he has given to me that I can’t do for my family at this point. Most of this is monetarily driven or material driven. Like a house. A nice car. A very nice bank account. I don’t have those things right now, and looking forward, I am not sure when I will have those things. I do think I deserve those things. I have worked hard for it. I know a lot of you deserve them too. I guess it is hard to be happy with who you are. Well, it is for me. Do Les, Jerry and Neil have a fear of failing? I wonder.
I really want to know if you guys suffer from this. Please let me know. Until next time.