Category Archives: Family

This is all about my family. Sarah, my wife, and my amazing kids, Emily and Ben. This is also about my extended family as well.

NEW LOOK AT LIFE

Good Morning All,

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I am sorry I have been a bit MIA lately.  I have an enormous family and we had a fEmilybdayew parties this weekend.  We celebrated Emily’s 4th birthday on Saturday.  It was great.  See the pictures I added?  The cake was amazing.  My friend Andrea and Sarah made the entire cake from scratch.  If any of you local people need any baked goods hand made with love, please visit her site at http://www.everydayisaparty.biz/.  She is amazing.

I hope you all had a restful Memorial Day weekend.  I hope everyone got their kids off to school safe and sound.  Emily goes to her first day of Head Start  in a couple of weeks,  I am already freaking out.  You see, when she went to TREC, I went with her on the bus.  Since we didn’t have cash for a sitter, Ben came along too.  It was great.  Now, she goes alone on the bus and is gone almost all day.  Well, it will seem like it is all day.  This will be good for both Emily and Ben.  Emily needs more interaction with other kids.  To learn to share more and hopefully, she will see other kids going potty and finally get over the hump, and we can get out of diapers for good.  My mother-in-law got her Cinderella underwear for her birthday.  Yeah, thanks a lot.  I know your other grand-kid is perfect and is potty trained.  Leave Emily alone, she will be fine.  This transition will also be great for Ben.  He is still a bit slow o speak.  The reason for this is because Emily says everything for him.  I think he needs some Daddy and Ben time.  To be honest, I could use a break from two kids down to one if only for a few hours.  The kids are 16 months apart.

That MR.MOMbrings me to the theme of this post.  Parenting, or fatherhood and A.C.C.  I am in a rather new position in my life.  It has been a bit of an adjustment to get use to.  See, I always knew when I got married that I would be the one to go to work and provide for my family.  I will get to a larger blog about working with A.C.C. at later time.Well, that all changed two months ago when my disability finally came through.  Now I am the stay at home dad.

I must sstay-at-home-dad-resume1ay, it is a challenge.  My mom made it look so easy.  There are so many things that you take for granted as a kid, and knowing what your parents go through for you day in and day out is one of them.  My mother has the patients of a saint.  She had to to put up with us kids.  Well, I wasn’t a horrible kid, I was a good kid.  The thing is I know I was probably a pain in the ass at times.  I mean I try and keep the house clean with the laundry, the cooking and the cleaning of the clutter, but I feel as though I am shoveling shit up against the tides.  Mothers out there, and stay at home dad’s don’t get their due.  This is a full time job, but we don’t get paid for it.  The other thing is I don’t get respect from others.  The other day I made a big salad with all the fixings.  Fresh tomatoes from our garden.  Cut up green pepper, shredded cheese and slices of ham.  The kicker was the garlic and herb croutons I made from scratch.  I also made two dressings from scratch.  I love to cook.  Well, I got looks when I said that and also when I said I made this whole dish from scratch.  See for some reason my immediate family, and most of my extended family thinks I am a lazy ass.  A lot of that has to do with my job history, as well as a few other things, but they don’t know the whole story.  Some days I want to scream and say something like,  look, I have A.C.C and I am dealing with shit you couldn’t possibly fathom.  It pisses me off.  I go back to the whole Forrest Gump term.

In tying this into the A.C.C Discussion, I am wondering that someone like me, who deals with anxiety on a nearly daily or even hour by hour basis it seems, how does that affect my parenting?  Since I get confused very easily, or patients grows thin, does that mean my tolerance is low for screaming kids?  I mean, would my attitude be better if I didn’t have A.C.C?  Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and would die for them, but kids can be kids.  Especially a four year old and a two and a half year old.  Parenting is different than when I was a kid.  You can’t kit your kids.  Well, spankings are okay and I do pat them on the tush when needed, but it is so different than when I was a kid.  My dad would look at me once.  Then he would haul off and whack me.  I mean hard.  He instilled the wrath of God into me.  I cannot, and will not do that to my kids.  There is only so much my brain can handle at any given time.  Then I need a break.  I am with the kids 24-7.

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The bitch of it is that Sarah is mad at me when I say I am going out on the weekends.  I don’t go out both days every weekend.  And by no means do I say I am going out and will be gone for 48 hours straight.  When I say I am going out, that doesn’t mean I am going clubbing or going to the bar yo tie one on, not at all.  It just means I need Brian alone time.  This has many meanings.  It may mean we need some groceries and I want to go by myself to get them instead of the whole family.  It may mean I am going out to play golf, or to git a bucket of balls.  Sarah takes that as I am deserting the family.  You see, I can’t win.  Do you guys feel like your stress levels elevate faster because of A.C.C. and that your brain’s tolerance can only take so much which would be significantly lower than the average persons brain?  What can I do?  Please advise.  Until next time?

Brian Malaquias

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CAN MY KIDS GET ACC FROM ME?

Good Morning Everyone,

First off I want to say what a thrill it is to see so many people responding so positively to my blog.  In the first day, I had 370 views.  That makes me so happy because I know my words are getting out there to the masses and helping parents with kids who have ACC or other kids or adults who have ACC.  🙂Sleeping  In this blog post, I will discuss becoming a dad and the steps and research Sarah and I went through to find out if our children would have ACC.  I hope this post helps those couples who are trying for a family.

Sarah and I wanted answers, and not just general answers, we wanted cold hard facts and stats.  The problem was we couldn’t get specific stats or percentages.  Sarah and I talked about this a lot before we started trying to conceive a .  I said to her things like I want to know what the exact percentage was of my son or daughter getting ACC from me.  We agreed that if the percentage was very high, say like 80%, we would adopt. Me and Ben

I wish I could say that we got the definitive answers we were looking for, but we didn’t.  I asked my doctor, as well as several other doctors and neurologists all the same questions.  I combed the internet and read books on the subject for months.  I even let my concerns be known to my A.C.C. friends on Facebook and we always got the same answer.  No one can be sure.  It could be high, it could be low.

Needless to say, Sarah and I did a lot of praying and soul-searching and we decided to go ahead a start trying.  They way we figured it was that A.C.C. can be seen prenatally with the use of an ultrasound.  Sure enough, when the ultrasound showed a very active baby girl with a perfect little brain, we were thrilled.

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Oh and guys out there, there is one more thing.  I don’t care who you are.  It doesn’t matter if you are a big tough guy, or a hopeless romantic like me.  Your heart melts and you well up, the first time you hear that heart beat.  Oh, and another thing, yes, you will grow to sometimes hate a baby’s cry.  Well, for me, it is the constant nagging, and wining that gets me.  But when you first hear your baby cry and gulp in that very first breath of air, that is the greatest.  Sometimes you have to wait a bit for it.  That happened with Ben.  It seemed like an eternity, but once we heard it, we breathed a sigh of relief and were overjoyed.

I would really like parents feedback on this one.  Did you do the same due diligence as Sarah and I?  Did you try something else?  What other avenues did you travel down?  Please let me know.  Yeah, I know.  Emily and I sleep the same way.  🙂  Until next time?

Brian